Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Shoe Blogging

You know there are whole blogs and stuff dedicated to women's shoes, right? And lots of women who blog talk about shoe shopping and stuff. So I decided to do that for a sec. (Are there blogs dedicated to men's shoes?)

Here's what the shoes typically look like on those other blogs.
This is called a Carolyne Pump in Dark Brown by a famous designer named Manolo Blahnik. Perhaps you've heard of him?

So maybe you're the type of person who sees this and thinks, yes, that looks GREAT! I should get some!

I'm not. I look at that and think about pain, a lot of pain. First off, my feet are about a size different, so any shoe that fits my right (bigger) foot, has to have some mechanism to make it tighter or my left (smaller) foot floats around finding ways to get blisters. If you can tie the shoes, that works pretty well. Or you can put something in the shoe, but that's significantly less comfortable. (Trust me on this: stuffing something into the toe of a high heel shoe so your foot doesn't slide around does not make for happy toes.)

Second, the strap there at the back. I know that's going to wear a hole into my right heel fast, but not before my toes are all smushed and crying for freedom from the pointiness. My left toes, especially, will be crying, because everything will be pushing them forward extra hard. I have a sort of bent little left toe; it might be the only toe that doesn't actively rebel under such conditions. (Does anyone have toes THAT pointy?) And the balls of my feet will be crying along with them.

Third, you have to know I'd break my ankle and fall off the heels. Not in that order, probably. I think I'd lose all the supposed sexiness that heels supposedly give women's calves if one of mine were in a big cast.

Fourth, I've been told by my students that I can be a bit intimidating sometimes. Now imagine me four inches taller on death stilletos. I think we can all agree that's a scary thought. It could be worse than scary, though, because IF I ever made it all the way to a classroom, you know I'd fall into a student's lap when I looked down to try to take roll, and that would probably be as uncomfortable as just about anything I've done in a classroom.

So, my shoe blogging isn't going to be about Manolos or about death stilletos, or even about pumps. My shoe blogging is going to be about my new shoes, that I hope will be as fun as they look. Here I am modeling them:



My toes do feel a little strange, all spread out. I think the only thing they have in common with the Manolos is a heel strap. And a stiff price tag--though not in the same league as the Manolos, now that I look. HOLY COW! People pay $700 for a pair of shoes????? It's a good thing I was sitting down. Who has $700 to pay for a pair of shoes?? And they don't even have steel toes to protect you from stuff falling on your feet, or lining for arctic or Everest expeditions! (Am I the last person on earth to realize that some shoes cost $700--or MORE!--and it isn't because they were custom made for an Elton John concert tour?)

My shoes do have one more thing in common with the Manolo shoes, though, a dedicated blog!

13 comments:

  1. No, in fact, if anyone was last to know that someone would pay $700 for a pair of shoes, then it'd have to be me. I learned it from your post, just now. Vaulting says "and more, in fact", so I guess she knew. Hmph. They'd better come with superpowers for that price.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I highly recommend Keen or Chaco! Haven't had a pair of heels on in twenty years.

    I heard about your new shoes. Do you like them? I think they are supposed to be the closest thing to going barefoot.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have to laugh, because my response to shoe blogging is always to think, "Oh, the horror of wearing those shoes!" I'm all about the sensible shoes.

    I'll look forward to hearing about your new shoes. Are they really comfortable? Did you get them for jogging (which is how I've heard of people wearing these shoes) or for some other pursuit?

    ReplyDelete
  4. I have never been to this blog before today, but I have to say... We are soul-mates. I mean sole-mates.

    A number of blogs that I normally frequent have recently been showcasing their shoe purchases and my thought has been "OW." When I saw this on the Not of General Interest blogroll, I thought it was going to be another one. But no! It's the post that I have been too afraid to make for fear of offending other bloggers.

    Thank you thank you for making it for me and for being a voice of food-reason. Someone had to say it.

    p.s. I like Naot. Pricey but fits my European-style feet. They also look comfortable in addition to being comfortable... but are still ok for teaching. Maybe after tenure I can try a pair like yours for teaching in.

    ReplyDelete
  5. foot reason, not food reason

    ReplyDelete
  6. i'd fall flat on my face, howling in pain, if forced to wear the first pair featured. i'm the kind of person who wears the nice clogs to weddings, funerals, etc.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I own shoes of two brands.

    Doc Martens - boots and a Maryjane for work. I have had the boots since high school.

    Cheap ass work clogs - Cherokee I think, some medical shit.

    Naot sandals. 2 pairs, one is really old and as a birthday gift I got a new pair. (These are hippie sandals along the lines of Birkenstocks if no one has heard of them.)

    One pair of running shoes. I think they are New Balance.

    Even if I have to go to some semi formal event, it's the doc martens in winter and the Naot in summer.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oooo, so jealous of your VFFs! I'm not sure if you follow Rana (Frogs & Ravens) but she has a few pairs and has written quite a bit about them. She wore hers on part of a long hike we did together last summer and they were fantastic. I mostly need shoes I can wear in the classroom, and I'm not quiiiite ready to do that with Vibrams, but I'm thinking about it more and more!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Anonymous7:21 AM

    When I saw the first picture, I did a doubletake and checked back to see that this was BARDIAC's blog I was reading. I mean, I don't know you f2f, but you soooo do not seem like a Manolo Blah kind of person.

    [capcha word: "dickskin." Eeeew!]

    ReplyDelete
  10. Anonymous10:28 AM

    my husband's cousin and his wife showed up at my brother in law's wedding this summer in those shoes. She was wearing hers with a black cocktail dress. He said he was wearing his "dress pair"--they looked suede to me. He's a professional runner. In any case, it was awesome and the juxtaposition between these and the typical shoe blogging in the post reminded me.

    ReplyDelete
  11. that black vibram five fingers look awesome on your feet..i use to collect shoes such as chaco and brooks beast

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yes,there is a blog dedicated to men's shoes (more or less). My blog has nearly eighty shoe posts. You don't have to be gay to like men's shoes, but it does help.

    http://dandync.blogspot.com/

    Love the glove shoes.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I've been coveting those, but I'm a bit put off by the price. They are about $180 AUD here (USD $160). I don't think I've ever spent more than $50 on a pair of shoes before. And since you can only buy them online, I'm worried I'd find them uncomfortable, or they wouldn't quite fit right. (I know I could return them, but they you end up paying shipping).

    ReplyDelete