I've been putting off getting my eyes checked. I was supposed to get them checked in January, but I've been putting it off.
It's inconvenient. You lose the rest of the day, pretty much, if you're in my line of work and need to be able to read to get work done. Once my eyes are dilated, I pretty much can't read for a long time. Nor can I go out in the sun.
The eye doctor I went to (that's actually on my insurance) is okay, but not totally comfortable for me. The first time I went, he gasped when he looked in my eye and saw the silicone "rubber" band thingy, even though he had been looking at the chart questionaire where I'd filled in about it. The gasp scared the beejeezus out of me, and I'm tense about my eyes anyway. Why do I have to fill out the damned chart if he's not going to bother actually looking at it? On the other hand, it's not that big a deal, and I'd feel awkward firing him. Did I mention I'm a coward?
Anyway, the other day one of my eyes sort of hurt, a dull hurt, which lasted a blink of an eye, literally, and wasn't that bad. But still, it's weird. And I'm not used to it, so it's very noticable.
So I called to make an appointment today. And instantly I felt sick, like sick like I wanted to vomit out my window sick. Ugh. It's purely anxiety.
I never used to be anxious about eye stuff, but then I had a detached retina, and now I'm anxious about eye stuff.
Then I looked up, and I think my eye thing is dryness, and the first cause listed is menopause. Well, yay, because really, about time if it is. But also, yet another way being a female human sucks. You get discriminated against, paid less, cramps, blah blah, and by the way, dry eyes!
I really, really do not want to hear that I can't wear contacts. I love my contacts. I'd love even more to be able to see without them, but I love having peripheral vision!
Even more, I do not want to hear that I need eye surgery (which I really don't think is even a possibility, but just saying). Or that I'm going to go blind soon. (That was my nightmare last night.)
The mid-life thing: you realize that life is already going downhill, and that it's only going to get worse. At what point does it become just not worth it?
I'm going to try to get really well hydrated (bourbon should work, right?) and put my eyejuice in my eye more, and see if that helps.