In Over my Head

I feel like I'm inundated, buried by papers, bouncing almost uncontrollably from task to task, from task to class, from class to meeting, meeting to reading, and back, all under deadlines.

It's dissatisfying because I feel like things are getting done; they have to get done because when you walk in front of a class, whether you're as prepared as you like, you get 50 minutes or whatever, and that's it. There are no do-overs. But I feel like not everything is getting done as well as I should be getting it done. And I'm waiting to realize that I've totally forgotten something vital that must be done by 2 pm.

And if I mess up, it's not like the government is going to bail me out, right? No one is going to say, hey, Bardiac, you messed up your investments for retirement, but don't worry, we're going to buy you out with a golden parachute. And no one is going to say, hey, don't worry about doing the reading for that class, I'll come help make sense of it all. (Because it's never enough to do the readings; I need to do the readings in a way that enables me to help my students make good sense of things and make connections that are useful in all sorts of ways.)

And so, blog silence for a bit.