Wednesday, September 24, 2008

In Over my Head

I feel like I'm inundated, buried by papers, bouncing almost uncontrollably from task to task, from task to class, from class to meeting, meeting to reading, and back, all under deadlines.

It's dissatisfying because I feel like things are getting done; they have to get done because when you walk in front of a class, whether you're as prepared as you like, you get 50 minutes or whatever, and that's it. There are no do-overs. But I feel like not everything is getting done as well as I should be getting it done. And I'm waiting to realize that I've totally forgotten something vital that must be done by 2 pm.

And if I mess up, it's not like the government is going to bail me out, right? No one is going to say, hey, Bardiac, you messed up your investments for retirement, but don't worry, we're going to buy you out with a golden parachute. And no one is going to say, hey, don't worry about doing the reading for that class, I'll come help make sense of it all. (Because it's never enough to do the readings; I need to do the readings in a way that enables me to help my students make good sense of things and make connections that are useful in all sorts of ways.)

And so, blog silence for a bit.

5 comments:

  1. I am feeling exactly the same way - totally overwhelmed.

    Hope you come up for air very soon!!

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  2. Feeling totally the same way, Bardiac, but your blog is the one thing keeping me sane! Hope you come back soon!

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  3. Oh dear... you mean my life isn't going to get easier when I finally leave adjuncting behind and get a full-time job? Say it ain't so! I'm barely keeping my head above water teaching two classes -- though I must admit, most of my time is taken up by my two-year-old son who consumes my daytime hours like so many cheese curls. It sure would be nice to make enough money to afford daycare...

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  4. Count me in as another overwhelmed academic blogger--here's to muddling through for all of us.

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