When I was a kid, I really did think adults had it good. They understood things, got along well with family, and so forth. That may be true for other adults, but dang, I missed the boat.
Somehow, by this point, I should be able to get along with my Mom. I should just let things flow, not get irritated, not get impatient. But I just am not there.
I feel disloyal complaining.
I'm still reading Kyoko Mori's Polite Lies. I was talking to one of my friends about it, a friend who's read several of her works, and my friend said she gets the feeling the Mori writes about the same thing over and over. Once my friend said that, I started to get that feeling as I worked through the book. It's still a good book, but there's a sense that she's working through different aspects of the same issue using the same lens of her mother's suicide. In some ways, it's very informative because I get a sense of how she sees her bicultural life over time.
I was reading the chapter on lying last night, about how often we lie, many times a day, perhaps. Most of the lies are social lubricant sorts of lies, the sorts of things we say just to say what's socially expected or what's not going to needlessly hurt someone's feelings.
I was about to say that I'm not really good at the social lubricant lie; it's not that I try to be rude, but that I tend to keep my mouth shut at times. But as I was about to say that, I thought about how often people say things about themselves that are the opposite of other peoples' perceptions. For example, I've noticed that when someone says "I'm easy to please," they rarely are. And when someone says "I'm not critical," and then goes off on how I screw everything up, I don't buy their self assessment. So maybe I'm so expert at the social lubricant lie that I don't even realize how often I'm doing it?
I've had a stuffy nose since late November, and I'm getting tired of it. I'm pretty sure it's not so much infection as irritation, since I haven't had a fever, sore throat, chest cough, or anything actually worth complaining about. I mean, seriously, I'm whining about a stuffy nose. Could I be more of a whuss? I'm going to pretend that I actually am only worried about flying with stuffy sinuses, but really, I'm just tired of having a stuffy nose.
I checked WebMD and it said helpful things about not getting exposed to really cold air, or big changes in temperature, and avoiding dry air. Yeah, no problem. It also says to try a saline nasal wash, so I've done that. It's disgusting to have the saline go through my nose into my mouth.
I hate being such a bleeping whuss! I hate the dryness of the air, and how icky it makes everything (static, dry skin, you name it!).