Saturday, January 06, 2007

Bad Shopper

A couple I know and like lots is expecting, and some other folks are throwing a shower.

You know how when some people have kids, you wonder why they didn't use birth control? And other people, you just feel really happy for? Well, this couple is totally the latter for me. I'm happy beyond reason for them. I've even concerned myself enough to learn about viability dates and such. They're expecting twins, and well into the viability time, with good reports from the most recent check and stuffs.

It's important to note, as I prepare for the shower thing, that I missed two stereotypical female traits. First, I have no maternal instince. Zip. If you hand me a baby, I'll do my best not to drop it. I can change diapers as needed, because I got plenty of practice babysitting. But I'm not going all goo goo eyed over little babies. I try to be pleasant when people bring their baby to work, but I'm so not interested.

Second, I pretty much hate to shop except in book and hardware stores.

So today, my major chore is going to buy a shower gift. I ordered a Che Guevara onesie, and a Shakespeare onesie, but those are just for silliness, and probably won't make it here in time. For real, though, I'm going with practical: washclothes and diapers. I'll also be sure to get some Carl books; I love Carl books, especially the one where he goes to the park and there are all these paintings in the style of various famous painters.

I dread the whole shower scene coming up. /shudder


  1. I had to do the same thing recently and had trouble with it because I can't stand shopping and, while I like babies, I'm perfectly happy to admire other people's and not have one of my own! Hope the shower's not too bad.

  2. Diapers and washclothes are always a big hit and since she will be having twins, well, the more diapers and washclothes the better. I am not real fond of showers of any kind, but they are dooable. Hope you have fun.

  3. I hate showers and I won't go them anymore, ever. I will send a gift, though. I don't like to play stupid party games. And why does the conversation always have to include labor and delivery stories? Seriously, I don't want to know what gross, gory, painful or unusual circumstance occurred when your spawn hatched.

  4. Oh god - can I have a Che Guevara onesie, too? :) You sound like you have maternal instincts to me! :)

  5. Medieval Woman: Your wish is my command:

    (err, you may need to cut and paste that. Or go to and search for guevara.) The Che onesie is sort of a special thing for this couple; they'll enjoy it.

    I had GREAT success today; I called a friend and we went together. I got BRIGHT colored washclothes, diapers, a dishwasher thingy, AND the Carl in the park book. We also went out to a yummy dinner, so happiness!

    Coming after the death of our colleague earlier this year, the births of these twins are like an affirmation in our department, somehow. I have a feeling there will be far fewer than usual gross stories, and mostly a focus on being happy. (And I was assured that there won't be any silly games!)

  6. I love babies (we're even honorary members of the college Toddler Mafia), and I can listen to gory birth stories, but I utterly loathe baby showers. I never seem to be able to use the beg-off-and-send-a-gift ploy that Christine advocates, but every time I swear afterwards that I'll never do that again.

    My standard baby present is a Hugg-a-Planet. Every baby needs one of those.

  7. I always just go to a bookstore and buy some great children's books for a baby shower. You can never have too many children's books.

    All the crap I got at my own baby shower (twenty-one years ago) has long since been given away, but I still have the books that someone gave me. I plan to read them to my grandchildren.