What Your Car Really Says About You

The Yahoo thing when I checked my email has a link to an article about what your car says. It's stupid. So I've decided to explain what your car REALLY says.

If you live in the urban area where I did my phud, and were my neighbor, your car said, "Step away from the car. Do not touch the car. Step away from the car. Do not touch the car..." ad nauseum, anytime a large truck drove by a block away, anytime someone honked a horn in the area, and endlessly anytime the earth did the wave (which it did on occasion there). What does that say about you? You have too much money to spend on a car security system, and your neighbors detest you, even though they don't know who you are. I was very happy to move away from that car, though my apartment was pretty nice, had off-street parking, a decent landlord, and was (well, until the fires...) convenient to a small strip mall with a small grocery store. (I got a job in another state, so the commute would have been hell.)

If your car (like mine) often sports a bike rack on the back, sometimes with a bike, that says, "hey, my driver either likes to bike, or wants you to think s/he likes to bike." Or else the driver has found something else that's convenient to hang from the rack on the back.

If your car has multiple child seats, that says, "My driver has kids." You see how simple this is? And if the car hasn't been washed in ages, someone may write the obvious on a window in the dirt, so it says "wash me!"

See, it really IS easy.

The problem is, people with money (or people who want to read about people with money) gave Forbes money for the pleasure of reading their article, while mine is posted for free on the internet. Obviously, that says something about my being a stupid academic who doesn't take good advantage of ways to make money!